When God dumps me, throws me in the loony bin for weeks, takes my kids, moves all the cash, and changes locks and my name, again, it’s not just a breakup, this split makes an apocalypse look like small-talk; you should see the wreckage in our linen bed.
Once he’s taken you past second base on his magic tie-dye blanket, made you feel like Brown-Eyed Girl on grass behind the stadium, danced with you through time and space with free balloons all night at Party City, the daily grind will ever satisfy that thirsty mind.
My name is Katie Velvet, that’s one version of my story, ask me again tomorrow how I got here to this day.
My spirit is so mighty I burned through an entire family this year, through Caitlin’s voice and words and Foxy’s recent body double where they sleep now in the room where we first saw the light.
Now they wake sweetly in the mornings I worked so hard to earn with magic kids I nurtured from the stars. Katie’s rowdy spirit is so strong it took two humans and this book to set her free. The casualties are massive, family carnage strewn across the highway that connects my twisty cable to your eyes.
I can tell this ending is also a beginning, another rite of passage on my heroine’s journey and this upward climb. Oh Van Gogh, Einstein, Skyway Man, Ed Smith, and you, is interplanetary artwork worth the screaming heart I get from time to time?
Or sometimes in the shower (when I think that I’m alone) I wonder if God’s just giving me a smackdown, to jolt my creative juices with the leather strap custom embroidered with my name so when he spanks me all the words leave trademarks on my skin before they come like this.
Shhh, the thing about dating God, my smart and sexy girlfriends, is that he always has the upper hand, he’s the Big Guy after all. He calls the shots even when you think you’re in the driver’s seat. He knows exactly where your buttons are, and knows your inner thoughts before you do.
God sees it if you’re in the mood, is on to every secret smoke, knows all your crushes and their designs, hears it in the bathroom when you slip out to pee before he wakes, and slides back in to suck him off next to the window where he’s always watching, shining colored lights outside into your dreams.
God’s texting game can drive a woman crazy, fly her all across the country on a whim, and make her swim across the seas to earn the love that we deserve; he’s worth it, that I know from our hot run through time and space.
He calls himself the Sade but God’s gotta have a masochistic streak to watch his girls cry rivers of despair down on his stage when it’s time to pull the curtain up, the tour is over, summer’s magic streak is landing down on Runway 17 at JFK.
It wasn’t all God’s decision on this break we’re in right now, I had a dream he tried to hurt me, dressed up like a rockstar with aviator shades as a disguise. I heard a song and hopped a plane in the middle of the night again just like I did to Dylan before going back to Bard.
My name is Katie Velvet, I’m a smart and honest person and I want to do this right. God crossed a line in Caitlin’s moral code when he asked her to that dance under the bad moon in the sky. It hurts like hell to not see his toothbrush at my place tonight, but I’m listening to love and my family’s heart this time, these wounds will heal and we’ll be stronger from our pain.
And now we’re back to school, a lucky lanyard, new OS, and matching Nordic Purple coffee mug taboot. I’ll let the last of summer rays dissolve the tan line from the bracelet that he gave me by the bathroom sink on our first date. It always hurts to cut the wristband coming home from outer space. It took the work of human angels to help me radiate the screaming in my heart today and process decades’ worth of homesick tears.
The only perk of breaking up with God is that his omnipresence is just like the moon where you can be so far apart while seeing the same thing.
I know he’s always out there, my biggest fan, protector, eternal friend. I know I’ll always reach for him through lyrics and strange beds. I always try to leave it good with boys, once you get inside my heart, I’ll be your student for all time.
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